Never would have thought this would happen to me.
Everything seems normal until you realize the unusual.
Really, you would never know how much courage you need, that you were just normal the day before and had to accept the fact that the part of your body or face is not functioning at all, the day after.
Everyone has their own story of life, it just takes someone to put themselves into their shoes to understand how they feel and if they were put into the same situation, would they react the same.
No, I can tell you, I have had always asked these questions " Why would they do such a thing, its not its their only way, they had a choice, but why?"
But well, i was calm when i got home from work, and even planned to just consult the doctor they next day.
After my family learned of the condition, they insisted to send me to the clinic on that night itself.
It's not the "going-to-the-clinic-again-" that scared me, but the words and results of the researched i've made that scared me.
The doctor said, " your condition like this, 50% could make it through, where else, they are also people experienced that permanently."
The things i thought was minor has now crossed my mind, in a different whole new level.
Please do not tell me all these when i least expect it.
However, he said, I would write a referral letter for you to consult a specialist, he will let you know the details.
He's the general doctor , he said he could not tell what exactly was my condition and that he does not have the facilities to test on me.
So, neurologist, nice to meet you.
Before i meet the neurologist, there is this aunty sitting right beside the door.
Embarrassed, and sad.
Her friend called her up to ask about her condition, but she would never want to pick up the phone.
Words could not come out from her mouth.
She could only show signals of the message she wanna let the other family members know.
At that point in time, i really could understand her feeling.
You know the feeling that you really love your friends, you would not want them to worry nor cry that you're in such a terrible, permanent condition.
Yes, feeling embarrassed could be one of the reasons why she's avoiding.
But most of all the feeling of embarrassing, is the feeling of love.
It feels like she just had stroke.
She needs more time to adapt.
So yeah, the specialist looking at me calm, whereas im looking at him worried.
I began to explain as he reads the referral letter.
" I dont know how it began, the next morning i woke up, i dont feel anything because i did not face the mirror that day. But when i was working, i could feel that my eyes are being covered with a mirror, i could only see blurry visions."
He just looked at me and smile.
I further explained " The next day, when i was looking at the mirror, i felt that something was not right on my face, i tried to smile and asked " why, is, my right side of the face is not responding?" I tried to open my mouth wide, "why is my mouth opening only on the left side"
Seriously, that time, i really was thinking "holy shit, am i experiencing stroke?"
The neurologist just remained calm and asked me did i experience any pain, anywhere?
Then i explained, "yes, the back of my ear pain when i was focusing, and when i was driving, my neck and both the back of my ears are pain as well."
After hearing my explanation, he smiled again.
Then he said " dont worry, it's just that your right side of the face is temporary paralyzed, you would get better after a month, as long as you finished up your medicine."
RELIEVED, heng ah! Really thought it would be permanent.
My mom even voiced out "its worrying, some said it's a mini stroke!"
The neurologist then laughed, no worries, youngsters like her very least would end up having stroke, it would normally be nerve infection, and worry not, she will be alright. If 40 above having such symptoms, it will normally be stroke. "
Im trying not to laugh or smile as it will be really obvious, but i guess it will be tough, as, i always laugh.
This time i really gg liao.
But 1 month, i believe, it will be just a blink of an eye.
I truly understand, how they felt.
I have difficulties to adapt into this situation.
Have to wash my face having the foam getting into my eye as it does not shut completely, my muscle just could not work.
Have to wear goggle when i take my bath.
Even, have to suddenly hunt for face mask, to cover my mouth, which is the most obvious part ot all.
Everytime i tell someone about my current condition, i really could not hold on my tears.
It really take a lot of courage.
July is ending soon, August, please be easy on me.
My beloved already had enough of stress and worries.
Get well soon.
You promised, this will only be temporary, remember, you promised me.
Everything seems normal until you realize the unusual.
Really, you would never know how much courage you need, that you were just normal the day before and had to accept the fact that the part of your body or face is not functioning at all, the day after.
Everyone has their own story of life, it just takes someone to put themselves into their shoes to understand how they feel and if they were put into the same situation, would they react the same.
No, I can tell you, I have had always asked these questions " Why would they do such a thing, its not its their only way, they had a choice, but why?"
But well, i was calm when i got home from work, and even planned to just consult the doctor they next day.
After my family learned of the condition, they insisted to send me to the clinic on that night itself.
It's not the "going-to-the-clinic-again-" that scared me, but the words and results of the researched i've made that scared me.
The doctor said, " your condition like this, 50% could make it through, where else, they are also people experienced that permanently."
The things i thought was minor has now crossed my mind, in a different whole new level.
Please do not tell me all these when i least expect it.
However, he said, I would write a referral letter for you to consult a specialist, he will let you know the details.
He's the general doctor , he said he could not tell what exactly was my condition and that he does not have the facilities to test on me.
So, neurologist, nice to meet you.
Before i meet the neurologist, there is this aunty sitting right beside the door.
Embarrassed, and sad.
Her friend called her up to ask about her condition, but she would never want to pick up the phone.
Words could not come out from her mouth.
She could only show signals of the message she wanna let the other family members know.
At that point in time, i really could understand her feeling.
You know the feeling that you really love your friends, you would not want them to worry nor cry that you're in such a terrible, permanent condition.
Yes, feeling embarrassed could be one of the reasons why she's avoiding.
But most of all the feeling of embarrassing, is the feeling of love.
It feels like she just had stroke.
She needs more time to adapt.
So yeah, the specialist looking at me calm, whereas im looking at him worried.
I began to explain as he reads the referral letter.
" I dont know how it began, the next morning i woke up, i dont feel anything because i did not face the mirror that day. But when i was working, i could feel that my eyes are being covered with a mirror, i could only see blurry visions."
He just looked at me and smile.
I further explained " The next day, when i was looking at the mirror, i felt that something was not right on my face, i tried to smile and asked " why, is, my right side of the face is not responding?" I tried to open my mouth wide, "why is my mouth opening only on the left side"
Seriously, that time, i really was thinking "holy shit, am i experiencing stroke?"
The neurologist just remained calm and asked me did i experience any pain, anywhere?
Then i explained, "yes, the back of my ear pain when i was focusing, and when i was driving, my neck and both the back of my ears are pain as well."
After hearing my explanation, he smiled again.
Then he said " dont worry, it's just that your right side of the face is temporary paralyzed, you would get better after a month, as long as you finished up your medicine."
RELIEVED, heng ah! Really thought it would be permanent.
My mom even voiced out "its worrying, some said it's a mini stroke!"
The neurologist then laughed, no worries, youngsters like her very least would end up having stroke, it would normally be nerve infection, and worry not, she will be alright. If 40 above having such symptoms, it will normally be stroke. "
Im trying not to laugh or smile as it will be really obvious, but i guess it will be tough, as, i always laugh.
This time i really gg liao.
But 1 month, i believe, it will be just a blink of an eye.
I truly understand, how they felt.
I have difficulties to adapt into this situation.
Have to wash my face having the foam getting into my eye as it does not shut completely, my muscle just could not work.
Have to wear goggle when i take my bath.
Even, have to suddenly hunt for face mask, to cover my mouth, which is the most obvious part ot all.
Everytime i tell someone about my current condition, i really could not hold on my tears.
It really take a lot of courage.
July is ending soon, August, please be easy on me.
My beloved already had enough of stress and worries.
Get well soon.
You promised, this will only be temporary, remember, you promised me.
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