Jess, only Jess.

Since when it started? How it started? I have no idea at all, but im sorry that, my heart has no trust in you for now. I dont know what happened, but i just dont have the urge anymore. I dont know how could i make it for the month to come. I will try my best. This may hurt you but im sorry the feeling is different already. No one caused this, but maybe it's just that im not ready to face everything yet. All the words kept playing in my mind. Maybe like i said, once i lose interest, then i will not be back to how i used to be. I've tried so hard to be the old self, but i cant. If can, just take everything that you need, everything that you want but please dont say a word to destroy me. I can give you everything I have, all i want is just respect. They said, leave who hurts you, keep who loves you.

Never would have thought this would happen to me. Everything seems normal until you realize the unusual. Really, you would never know how much courage you need, that you were just normal the day before and had to accept the fact that the part of your body or face is not functioning at all, the day after. Everyone has their own story of life, it just takes someone to put themselves into their shoes to understand how they feel and if they were put into the same situation, would they react the same. No, I can tell you, I have had always asked these questions " Why would they do such a thing, its not its their only way, they had a choice, but why?" But well, i was calm when i got home from work, and even planned to just consult the doctor they next  day. After my family learned of the condition, they insisted to send me to the clinic on that night itself. It's not the "going-to-the-clinic-again-" that scared me, but the words and results of the researched i...

Just for that little moment of reaching, but things just have to meddle in. Be it good or bad, wished or not, things just gotta happen, right? That little thing could be only for a moment or two or would it lasts, its beyond our control. Not knowing what to do, just had the feeling of just letting it be but it seems harder than saying i hate yellow. Whatever that would be, maybe we should be grateful that the leaves are still on the tree. Maybe we should cherish and take care of them, than wondering, when will they be landed on the ground. It could happen, it could not. So we should stay positive, in hope that, they would be strong enough to stay together. This is exactly how i miss the beaches, the sound of the waves. It could be just because its special? Or it was just being missed. Jess