Jess, only Jess.

没想到，我已失去了和我一起打拼的好朋友。 现在只能独自人走了。 说好一起毕业的我们，只剩下我。 我还曾想过一起做partner，一起做工。 😂  有时还想要放弃。 想到，不如现在就放弃，不用浪费时间。 想了又想，这是我自己要的路。 如果不努力的我现在就放弃，我去到哪里不努力也是一样会失败。 所以，就给我自己一个机会。 有时候很想问自己 我到底有没有在努力？ 什么是努力？只要有拿着书死读就是有努力吗？ 现在的我还在读tort。多几下要读family 了。 想快快把试考完， 去找你啊左岸！等我哟！😘

我在想，是不是因为我们要什么有什么，让我们学不会努力，独立。 看着他，在星期日还要做工，还是6pm。 让自己领悟到 原来自己有多么的幸福。 他让我看到，虽然他不怎么样，可是，因为她的努力，每个人都respect他。 他可以在家，什么都不做，可是，他还选择了自己赚钱，不靠家人来养他。 他是一个autism的人，让我觉得，人家还是依然的努力着，我却在这里干什么呢? 虽然我每年只见到他一次，如果没有亲戚结婚的话啦，如果有的话，可能会多过咯。 他什么都会做，不用别人叫他做，他都会自己开始做。 反而我，会站在那边等人告诉我要做什么。 哇老，觉得自己很失败sia ._. 可是我那样是有原因的啦，因为我不敢乱乱来，怎么说，他们都是我的长辈。 anyways，我的重点是，是不是我太幸福了，幸福到自己都不知福。 我最近来那个，所以，我都不想讲话，不想出门。 只要自己一个人冷静冷静。 请原谅我的突然。 突然不笑，突然不讲话，突然很凶，突然很静, 突然很严肃，突然的emo，突然的所有。 过了一个或两个星期我就OK了。

我不是要讲我很厉害啦，可是，我从来都没有真真的努力用功读书过。 可能我最后一次是Primary 1的时候。 maybe 到Primary 2。 我也很想知道我的脑到底有没有在pun。 如果你要问我，那种努力读书的感觉是什么，我讲不出来。 可能，我从来没有那个感觉过。 其实，要proud也proud不出。 我有repeat year的，所以我现在是比别人迟了一年。 我可以跟你讲我有读书啦，可能要比我根本没有读书的话，拿起书来就算有读书了。 我不知道啦，可能也是有像我这样的人啦。 我很努力了，读书读书读书。一直拿着书来看。 可是，我不知道我自己在做什么。 like, 就在拿书咯。 我讲这些，不是开心的咧。 想哭。 别人知道自己会什么不会什么。 我就觉得，都ok啊。 我做不到决定，选择不了什么是我confirm会的。 不知道对我来讲，每个都一样的容易，还是一样的难。 我知道，如果我还想像去年这样读书，我confirm会fail，没有最多也是40+，少过50. 我自己不知道可以帮自己做什么，也只可以一直逼自己读书咯。 天啊，我到底该怎么做~

看这个戏的时候，心痛到....好像女主角是我. 虽然还没看完，可是我多么的想看到她快点的离开那个臭男人！ 是他先变心，是他先走的，为何要求他？ 他爱了别人了，你做什么都没用了，他全家人都不喜欢你了。 对，可能你很吵，很烦，什么都要计较，这可不是为了他们的好吗？ 不懂得珍惜你的，何必要浪费你的时间讨好他们？ 他们可以一下就接受狐狸精，还说，反正也快要是一家人了。 你说得太早了，你还没有真正的认识她。 i 服了 you！ 你跟别人在一起，你可以有你自己的幸福，okay，你开心就好！你老婆就不能吗？ 为什么你这么自私的? 当初，是你选择放弃，是你不要这个老婆的！ 说你stupid，你还是真的不是开玩笑的stupid! 你有什么资格去阻止她跟别人在一起？ 你的朋友是有劝过你，要好好想，要珍惜。 是你一直想那个狐狸精是你要的，不是给你好好跟她在一起了咯，你还想怎样？ 我真的很期待的想听你说 “ 这个男的，我不要了！” 让那个狐狸精慢慢的享受那个stupid。 一样的，如果有人选择了别人，而不是你，不是你的错。 是他们没看到你的好，不需要感到伤心，it's okay, if they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best! 过的幸福吧，他不是你的，你不是他的，是有原因的。 可能是你选择的，可是，这就是没缘分。 我是说，不珍惜你的人。 当然，如果你不争取，只好认命了。

又是那个时候了，考试！！！ 现在有一个习惯，就是，很stress的时候看video，还是watch drama，大哭一场。 哇！那种感觉是爽到。。。。。。 无以形容！！ 好像把全部burden哭出来了一样，more than that啦，都讲无以形容了。 哈哈哈 可是也不会给我一个A啦。 大哭一场也只是要回那种放松的feeling而已。 明天last day of EU class了，希望不会像今天，要死掉了。 what i learnt during the revision classes was, never put your guard up if you want your lecturer to help you. In order for your lecturer to be able to help you, you have to help yourself first. Attending his class really helped me alot. Not only him, all my beloved lecturers! Its time already. We can all do this and yes, im looking forward to my activities!!!!!! 要痛就一次过！ 现在痛好过以后痛！ today my friend said he dont believe i used to be a banana! i dont know want to feel sad or happy. hahaha! but i seriously am eh, 不要这样啦。 so the moral of my story is, i can learn mandarin on my own, i believe, nothing, NOTHING can ever pull me down. Have faith! My parents and ex-bosses told me this before "if you are really interested and willing to do a thing, you really ca...

Everything seems to be quite bad these few days or maybe for the past 1 month. Hopefully things will be better for the next 2 months. I have already drained myself so much i thought i needed some space and time for myself. Please take care of yourself and remember to stay healthy. I may not have time for you but i always wish everyone of you the best. Im not sure of my own feelings. Maybe im used to it that i dont feel special anymore. LOL. My boy is kinda worried as i dont react the same anymore. Probably im stressed of everything that had happened recently. I feel the difference in myself also. Hope that he can understand and he too must be ready for exam. His exam is next week, i would not want to be the cause that he could not concentrate in his exams. Im trying my best, but probably because im drained, i have no emotions lol. Anyways, 19 days left to Tort Exam, may luck be by our sides and yes, we promised one another that we can do this. Fighting!

HAHAHAH! I HAVE ENDLESS HOBBIES!! Recently very stress, like whatever I do also i feel like slapping my face. ESPECIALLY when i want to sleep, i tend to keep thinking bout exam! Then today i went to my bro's condo and had a swim and SERIOUSLY, i felt so relaxed and so energetic! 原来，我不可以stop去gym去swimming的。 hahahah! 现在很忙哦，什么都要做! listening to my favourite songs can actually make me relax too. Lucks to my friends <3

每次过了半夜没睡就是在想很多东西。 现在的时间如果没睡就是很感性的时候。 MYGOD，通常是不好的啦 哈哈哈。 通常是，uh,遗憾啦，感情啦，友情啦，什么什么情啦，全部sekali campur在一起。 我是一个night person。 你叫我下午读书要我命，半夜surprisingly进脑好像充满电了一样。 通常到了12点我就要睡了。 其实今天也感谢Butterworks的YouTube videos 啦，不然我现在就像猪睡觉了。 如果要我读书熬过12点哦，真的sorry啦，我confirm plus chop做不到。😶 Im just so lazy to check my spelling. im used to be pure banana mygod. I remember when i was in Form 2/3, my classmate used to teach me how to pronounce shoes in chinese. Till the point she just wanted to take her shoe and slap me in the face. 😨 Even till now im trying to like speak properly, but sometimes, really cannot lah aiyo. But but but, im proud to say that, im no longer pure banana, at least, at least, im now, IMPROVED BANANA 😏 I can type in mandarin, speak at least at least, basics properly. Actually my friends complimented me on my improved mandarin, yeah! 放马过来！ Just kidding, skali they said all those beh tahan phrases, i just look at them blankly. They come up with their 4 power words, i ...

I believe those who are taking the same course as me are really draining. All i have to say is, dont worry my dear, it will so gonna be over in 2 months time and yes, thats the freedom we promised ourselves and for now, just bear with it. Apart from my stress, recently i have developed something interesting in my mind. I am starting to actually observe and analyse every actions and words made by people around me. I have no ill intention, but trust me, it just happened and i tend to have demon and angel in my mind. Like, for example, if something happens, i will tend to think from both sides, goods and bads, and just wow, you would not believe it, that actually tend to make things more fairly judged. I believe everyone has their very own point of view, but, lets see what others have to say before you actually conclude things. Everyone is not perfect, there are times when people get stubborn, but please, at the right time man. I AM VERY STUBBORN. If you have never seen me being...

I cant wait for my long-waited holiday man! Theres so many things i wanna do~ All these will end soon!  TRUST! TORT! FAMILY! EU! ROARR!! EU Revision starting sooooooon~ Its time for night and weekend classes >< Tort and Trust revision ended, now awaiting for EU and Family. So far so good man, hopefully its getting better soon.  Have faith classmates & all!  We just have to continue our fight until end of May for those who taking EU and those who take Commercial will be in June. 3 months holiday is coming for us~~ Jiayouuuu~!!

Hardly can get any motivation nowadays, dont even have the will to start reading!! OHMYGOD! Luckily i have started way before, else i'll be so doomed. Anyways, so many things happened recently. Hopefully, we can all be able to concentrate fully on our studies. Exam is so near. Nooooo~ Motivation motivation~ Next week Trust Law revision start liao. Dont know how can i survive writing non stop T.T No i dont have trust, my lecturer's the best!! The other day heard one of my classmates talked about her saying error on her manuals. LOL! No one's perfect kid. Tsk tsk tsk.

Hollaaa! After so long, my classmate complain i didnt update liao. She complain "GOT BF DIFFERENT LIAO" Hahaha!  Everyday study study study sleep wake up study study study sleep. Sleep also not enough time. Huhu 😭 Anyways, thats not what embarrassed me.  Today as usual lor, happily take the train to KL Sentral. Met this guy near Monorail station and hes taking his sweet time walking. I believe his class is the same as mine. 11.15 class ley, that time alr 11.12. So i overtake him, walk as fast as i can (at times run somemore) I almost can join walkathon liao.(dream lah) Then he from the back just take bigger steps and overtake me liao. Walao ehhh, you win liao lor bro. It was so embarrassing. Once we reach BAC 2, i didnt even take the lift. Too sia sui to take the lift 😂😂 Exam is sooooooo sooon. I think im just too stressed up. Oh nooo, have to chill. We all can do this man!  Jiayou peoplee!